It's not often that I am serious. I don't like being serious, there is too much stress in the "real world" to read about it on a blog or on facebook, but today, I'm serious.
I learned this morning that someone from our church passed away very unexpectedly last night. He was a great man, very involved in church, always greeted us with a smile and even commented to me how great it was to see us back in church. We were AWOL for a while. He didn't say it to make us feel uncomfortable, he said it because he was truly happy to see us back. He made EVERYONE feel welcome, even if you have never stepped foot in the church doors before. I didn't know a lot about him or his wife, I only knew that they were both great people, had a decent sized family and loved their church family. Woody will be missed by so many people. I can't imagine what his wife is going through today...and will continue to go through for some time now. I hope she knows how many lives Woody has touched, just by being him. I'm saddened by the news of his passing, as I'm sure a lot of others are as well.
This made me realize just how short life is, how it can change in an instant. Woody's death wasn't planned, it wasn't supposed to happen now. All I can think about is my husband. Does he realize what he means to me, to us? Does he know how much we count on him? Do I tell him enough how wonderful I think he is? Do I tell him and show him how much I love him? I know that the sound of him snoring at night makes me go crazy and I want nothing but to put the pillow over his face to stop him from doing it...but how would I feel if the snoring stopped? I don't think I could go on. Well, obviously, I would have to, but how?
My Dad passed away when I was 21, I watched my Mom let herself go after losing him. She passed away 10 years after him. For some reason, probably because I was caught up in being a new wife, trying to start my own family, I didn't realize what my Mom went through. It didn't really seem like life was really short. My dad was only 47 years old when he died. For some reason, at 21, I didn't see any of this. Now, it's all I can think about. 47 years old. That would be 11 years from now. I can't imagine leaving my kids and my life ending before it even begins. Why I see it today, I have no idea.
If you know me, you know I'm not a mushy, lovey dovey person. I rarely show affection towards people other than our kids. Here I sit though, wondering, have I told John enough? I know I haven't. Heck, I was screaming at him all night to turn over and STFU. Today, I sit here thankful he is answering my text messages. I look at the beautiful roses he got me last night and think "Thank you, God, for bringing him into my life"...but do I tell HIM that? Nope.
So, with that, I'll tell him more, I'll try to stop bitching about his snoring, and I won't take him for granted. I'll show him how thankful I am to have him in my life, I'll show him and tell him how much I really love him. How much I admire him and how proud I am of him. I don't think he could ever fully understand how much he means to me, or even know how much I truly love him. I don't think there are enough ways to tell him, enough words in the dictionary. He is the kind of man people dream of having. Hard working, loving, caring, spoils me...and I take it for granted on some days. I realized today it's time I start showing him, because, God forbid, what if tomorrow never comes?
Hug your loved ones...
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