Missing our Lee Lee

It's that time of year again. Time for Hailee to go on a mission trip with our church and the group of middle school kids. Last year was her first adventure. She had a wonderful time and came home with a ton of stories and a renewed feeling of self worth. No mother and father in their right minds would deny their child that experience.

I remember being miserable when she was gone last year. To the point I didn't want to leave my house because I needed to be a Mom of 4, not 3. I know it sounds weird, but, well, it just felt different. She has always been around as our family has grown and it wasn't like she was just spending the night somewhere for one night, she was gone last year for 7 days. We all missed her terribly. So much so, that Dominic wouldn't talk to her when she came back home. He was mad because she left him. LOL!

This year, it is just a 5 day trip. I know it is a temporary break and I realize that sometimes that "know it all" attitude and her constant eye rolls bug me more than anything, but right now, I wouldn't mind so much getting an eye roll. Our house dynamics change with out her, as I am sure they would with out any one of the kids. Everything is off kilter. It's truly a sign we were meant to be a family of 6. I'm just missing her right now, even though I would never deny her this trip, this experience, or a chance to get away from US. She needs the break as well, it's obviously time for her to grow up. As much as I want to, I can't stop the aging process.

I miss you Lee...I hope you are having the time of your life.

That's sign language in our house.

Today was Hailee's confirmation. As I sat in church thinking back over the past 13 years and how far I've come as a parent, how far Hailee has come as our daughter and how much our lives changed in these past 13 or so years, I looked down trying not to cry. I see Joey out of the corner of my eye playing with paper. I thought "no big deal, he's quiet in Church right now, not disrupting Pastor Kathy or anyone else and not fidgeting." WAIT...that means something is wrong. Seriously wrong. Panic starts to rush over me and I automatically tune out what Kathy is saying...or whoever it was reading at the time. I can't tell you who is around me all of a sudden, because, all I see is Joey finishing up his paper air plane he just constructed out of the prayer cards in the pew. The evil grin of "haaaahaaa, look out below" rushes over his face and I feel all the blood rush to my head. I have two options, pass out or stop the boy in his tracks. Only, I'm frozen. I see him start to pull his arm back, still with his evil grin on his face. Right before launch, he decided to look at me out of the corner of his eye to see if he is going to be able to get away with this or not. Our eyes meet. I don't remember saying anything, but I remember showing my clenched teeth. That's sign language in our house. It means, DO IT AND DIE. Suddenly, the evil grin is gone, his head hangs in disbelief. I know what he's thinking. He's thinking "Man, if I didn't look at her, I would be sailing this plane right through our service." Supermom kicked in and that little piece of paper became mine. Phew, I survived that one.

The kids were called up to leave for Children's church and while we had every intention of having Joey stay with us to see his sister make her Confirmation, I asked him to leave. I'm not really sure what I was thinking to begin with. Of course he wouldn't sit with us that long...and behave at the same time. "See ya soon, sucker", that was the look I got as he was walking out past me.

After service, Joey came running up to show me the craft he worked on in Children's Church. What did they make? YUP, paper airplanes. Maybe God really does have a sense of humor.